On
a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following
people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, shipwreck:
2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman![](http://www.mansioningles.com/images5/jokes33_2.gif)
One month later on these same absolutely stunning deserted islands in
the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in
a ménage a trois.
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits
with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is
cleaning and cooking for them.
The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the endless ocean, and another
long look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.
The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.
The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant
a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees
for
their stores.
The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide because
the American woman keeps endlessly complaining about her body; the true
nature of feminism; how she can do everything they can do; the necessity
of fulfilment; the equal division of household chores; how sand and palm
trees make her look fat; how her last boyfriend respected her opinion
and treated her nicer than they do; how her relationship with her mother
is improving and how at least the taxes are low and it isn't raining.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English
woman.
The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and set
up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because
it gets
sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut whisky. But they're
satisfied because, at least, the English aren't having any fun.
IT
MAKES YOU PROUD TO BE BRITISH
Only in Britain… can you get a pizza to your house faster than an
ambulance.
Only in Britain… do supermarkets make sick people walk to the back
of the shop to get a prescription while healthy people can buy cigarettes
at the front.
Only in Britain… do people order battered mars bars, chips and a
diet coke.
Only in Britain… do we spend thousands of pounds on a car then leave
it on the drive and have a cheap flymo and a pile of old junk in the garage.
Only in Britain…. do banks leave the front doors open and chain
the biro’s to the counter.
![](http://www.mansioningles.com/images5/jokes33_3.gif)
Only in Britain… do we buy hot dogs in packs of ten and rolls in
packs of eight
Only in Britain… are there handicap parking spaces in front of an
ice skating rink.
MORE INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT BRITS
3 Brits die each year testing to see if a 9v battery works by putting
it on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all the pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using a sharp knife instead of a screwdriver.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
were chocolate.
18 Brits suffered serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a
lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year involving accidents with out of control
scalextric cars.
And finally…. In 2000 8 Brits fractured their skull whilst throwing
up into the toilet
AREN’T YOU PROUD YOUR BRITISH ?
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