Redneck Lunch
An Irishman, a Mexican, and a redneck were doing construction work on
scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and
the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and
cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I
get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too." The redneck opened
his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more
time I'm jumping, too." The next day the Irishman opens his lunch box,
sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death.
The Mexican open his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps, too. The redneck
opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death, also.
At the funeral the Irishman's wife is weeping. She says, "If I'd known
how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have
given it to him again!"
The Mexican's wife also weeps and says "I could have given him tacos or
enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned
and stared at the redneck's wife.
"Hey, don't look at me," she said. "He made his own lunch!"
TRUE STORY
There's a town in Hertfordshire (UK) called Tillit.
In Tillit is a pub called "The Cockwell Inn".
The publican there is a lady called Lucy Likes.
Her address is:
Miss Lucy Likes
The Cockwell Inn
Tillit
Herts.
A man goes to a fancy dress
party dressed only in his Y-fronts.
A woman comes up to him and says 'What are you supposed to be?'
The man says "A premature ejaculation".
"What?" says the woman.
The man says "I've just come in my pants."
A naked man with a naked girl
on his back goes to a fancy dress party.
The host opens the door and says, "This is a fancy dress party, you can't
come in like that!"
The man protests "I am in fancy dress, I've come as a snail."
The host says "But you've only got a naked girl on your back."