What the small ads really mean
WOMEN'S ADS
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40-ish Adventurer Athletic Average looking Beautiful Contagious smile Educated Emotionally Secure Feminist Free spirit Friendship first Fun Gentle Good listener New-Age Old-fashioned Open-minded Outgoing Passionate Poet Professional Redhead Reubenesque Romantic Social Voluptuous Weight proportional with height Wants soul mate Widow Young at heart |
49 Slept with all your friends No tits Face like a Red Snapper Pathological liar Does a lot of Ecstasy Shagged her Form Teacher Medicated Lesbian Junkie Trying to live down reputation as a slut Annoying Comatose Borderline autistic All body hair, all the time Lights out, missionary position only, no BJ's Desperate Loud and embarrassing Sloppy drunk Depressive Schizophrenic Certified Bitch Bad dye-job Repulsive Looks better by candle light Bike Very fat Hugely fat Stalker Drove first husband to shoot himself Old bat |
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MEN'S ADS
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40-ish Athletic Average looking Educated Free spirit Friendship first Fun Good looking Very good looking Honest Huggable Likes to cuddle Mature Open-minded Physically fit Poet Sensitive Very sensitive Spiritual Stable Thoughtful |
52 and looking for a 25 year old Watches a lot of F1 Unusual hair growth on ears, nose and back Will patronize the shit out of you Would love to shag your sister As long as friendship involves a BJ Good with a remote and a six pack Arrogant Personality of a floorboard Pathological liar Overweight, more body hair than Richard Keyes Insecure mummy's boy Older than your Dad Wants to sleep with your Mum Washes his own teeth twice a day Wrote ex-girlfriend's phone nș on a lavatory cubicle Cried at Bridget Jones's Diary Gay Got a shag in a cemetery once Arrested for stalking, but not convicted Says "Excuse me" when he farts |
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