A couple had been married for 50
years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old
gentleman said to
his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years." "Yeah,"
she replied, "just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this
breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said, "we were probably
sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered,
"what do you say.....should we get naked?" Where upon the two stripped
to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old
lady breathlessly replied, "my nipples are as hot for you today as they
were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's
in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."
Retirement Home
One
evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home
and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the
nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at
a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems OK, but after a
while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive
nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she
seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The
nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all
morning. Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting
to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?"
They ask. "It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you
fart.